


Ask and Ye Shall Receive

by slkdfowiejsdxk (BottomBitchBarnes)



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: 1930s, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Verbal Fights, gay babies, it kind of sounds from the beginning like Steve had been abusing Bucky but that wasn't my intent, like it's really bad guys there are a bunch of slurs from Steve, there's no smut, they don't even really fight it's just Steve being chickenshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4498227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BottomBitchBarnes/pseuds/slkdfowiejsdxk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky could feel it sparking in the air the second Steve came in the door, early from work and with a bruise already starting over his eye. A storm was coming, one bad enough that Bucky knew to fear it before it even hit. Still, couldn’t hurt to try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ask and Ye Shall Receive

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, fellas! Sorry I haven't been updating my other stories too regularly. An Eala Bhan has gotten so long that Docs won't open it on my phone (which is where I write most of the time) and I've hit a rut with Alabaster. Both will be updated soon, though, I promise! This is my first ever one-shot (possibly my first fic with no smut) so give me some feedback!! Thanks, guys, I hope you enjoy! Also, I keep forgetting to link to it, but I'm on tumblr! bottom-bitch-barnes.tumblr.com !

Bucky could feel it sparking in the air the second Steve came in the door, early from work and with a bruise already starting over his eye. A storm was coming, one bad enough that Bucky knew to fear it before it even hit. Still, couldn’t hurt to try.  
“How was work?” he asked cautiously. Silence. Steve had been fired again. It had happened enough times that Bucky just knew. he cleared his throat as Steve made for the couch, toeing his shoes off on the way. “Mrs. Dioli down the hall brought over some lasagna earlier. It’s probably cold by now but it’s gotta be better than noth-”  
“Bucky, just shut up. I don’t wanna hear it right now.” Bucky’s shoulders slumped a little and he exhaled heavily.  
“Stevie, what happened?” he dared to ask.  
“Gee, what does it fuckin’ look like, Buck? Oh, I dunno… Maybe I got beat up again? Lost my fuckin’ job while I was at it? I don’t need your sympathy, Barnes, so can it.” Bucky went and sat on the lumpy, threadbare davenport next to his friend.

“Well, what’d you do this time? You might not even _deserve_ my sympathy.” he nudged Steve with his shoulder, hard enough that Steve wouldn’t get pissed at him for holding back.  
“I didn’t even do anythin’, that’s the thing. I was shovellin’ out front like Mr. Johnson said I should do every mornin’, mindin’ my own, when these jerks came outta nowhere and start beatin’ on me. I didn’t even hit back or nothin’, but Mr. Johnson fired me anyway. Didn’t matter. I think he was just looking for a reason for a while now.” Bucky sighed.  
“That’s rough, buddy.”  
“Anyway, why’re you home so early? Thought you left at five.” Bucky’s mouth flattened into half a smile.  
“Yeah, I did. Got there too late though, they already had their fifteen for the day.”

“Awe, shit, Buck, I’m sorry.”  
“Ah, that’s alright. I’ll figure it out. What about those fellas, though? Why didn’t’cha give ‘em Hell?” He could feel the weight of Steve’s breath through the movement of his shoulder. Steve turned to face him before looking away again.  
“Nah. Doesn’t matter.”  
“Like Hell, it doesn’t. You don’t back down from a fight, so don’t act like it ain’t a big deal.”  
“Can we please just drop it?”

There it was. The tension in Steve’s voice that Bucky had been digging for. Now, had this been anyone but Steve, of course, Bucky would have listened. Would have dropped the subject like a hot coal and never picked it up again. But he knew from experience that letting things fester with Steve was about as good as saving a spare bit of meat for a rainy day- You’d get it, eventually, but it’d be even tougher and worse-tasting than it would have been had you gotten it out of the way in the first place.

“No. I can’t drop it ‘till you tell me what the Hell is goin’ on, Steve. You ain’t like this and you know it. You’re better than this shit.”  
“Bucky-”  
“No, okay? I’m not gonna just sit here and pretend I don’t know what’s goin’ on anymore. You’ve lost your spark, and I don’t know who you are anymore, Steve. This is the third time this month you haven’t fought back, and I know there’s somethin’ fishy goin’ on. You never shut your goddamned mouth, and then when your opinions get you in trouble you act all tough and it’s left up to me to make sure you don’t die. That’s just how it’s always been, Steve, and I’d hate to lose that fight in you.”  
“I ain’t losin’ my damn fight, Barnes. It just ain’t worth fightin’ for, what they’re beatin’ me up over.”

“Oh, so there is a reason. What’d you do this time?”  
“Nothin’.” Bucky gave him a hard look. “Nothin, I swear! Like I said, I was mindin’ my own business, sweepin’, and these thugs start beatin’ on me and callin’ me a fuckin’ fairy!” Bucky jolted back slightly.  
“What, and you’re just gonna take that? I’ve never thought of you as someone who put up with folks tellin’ lies about him, Steve. Don’t start now.” Steve sneered and swallowed thickly.  
“Yeah, ‘cause you’d fuckin’ _know_ what it’s like, Buck. You’re all big and strong and you got dames drippin’ off ya. Ain’t nobody got the guts to call _you_ a queen.”  
“What’s got you so defensive, Steve? You usually brush that shit off,” Bucky noted, searching his friend’s face. Steve laughed through his nose, his half-smirk pulling at the split in his lip from last week that hadn’t quite healed yet.

“Well, Barnes, maybe I got to thinkin’.” Here, he got up and started to pace around the room. “It’s the stupidest thing, right? Here I am, walkin’ down the street one day, when Jimmy Munroe comes up behind me and shoves me into a streetlamp and he says: ‘Don’t think I don’t see it. The way you look at Barnes like he’s God’s great gift to mankind, like you’d drop to your fuckin’ knees for him at the drop of a hat’. And he went on, too, told me how it made him sick how I looked at you, and I’m sittin’ there gettin’ beat to a pulp and all I can think is how he’s off his damn rocker, y’know?

“But it got me fuckin’ thinkin’, Barnes, it sure did. Made me realize some things about myself I wasn’t sure I’d like to admit- Like how sometimes when I was around fourteen I’d sneak off to the docks to watch the guys work- I told myself it was artistic, y’know, I was drawin’, it was just for studyin’- But I don’t think I should’ve sweat the way I did if it was as simple as that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, dames are great too- and that’s probably why it took me so long to realize- But, Buck, there’s somethin’ wrong with me. And it ain’t even as easy as bein’ a queer.

“‘Cause I am, Buck. That’s why I didn’t fight back. I can’t fight them if they’re not wrong. But the thing is, I like girls too, Buck. I like dames and fellas, in the same goddamned way. The sinful way. And you can leave if you want, Buck, but- But it ain’t gonna stop the fact that your best friend- your best fuckin’ friend, for ten years- was a queer. ‘Cause now that I think about it, Buck, whenever I think about the future, and you and I livin’ next door to each other in little houses with white-picket fences- It hurts, Buck, and I think I might-”

“Steve, don’t-”  
“-love you.” Bucky could see the second in Steve’s eyes where he was shocked by having said it out loud, before he turned and fled out the door, barefoot and with no coat, into the biting February cold. Bucky sat, stunned, for a good minute before he got it together enough to shove his shoes and coat on, grabbing Steve’s as he chased him out the door.

“Steve!” he called. “Steve, come back, you’ll catch your death!” but his words were lost to the wind. They were in for a blizzard, and a bad one at that. Bucky ran down the icy tenement steps and into the storm-abandoned streets below, checking every doorway and alley for Steve’s toothpick frame. “Steven Grant Rogers, you dumb piece of shit, when I find you, you’re dead, you hear me? Dead!” he shouted. Every minute he wasted on the wrong place was another minute closer to losing Steve to the cold, he knew. Giving up on the direction he had checked first, he turned around, double checking every alley in case he’d missed something- a dropped sock, maybe- and was very glad he had when he heard a rattling cough from behind the bookstore’s dumpster. “Steve?” he called. Nothing but more coughs, but they were definitely familiar. He ran toward the source as fast as he could on the icy ground, and was both mollified and outraged when he found Steve curled up in a pile of snow beside the dumpster.

"C'mon, Rogers, let's get you home. Jeez, you don't have half the sense God gave a rock, do ya? Gotta be dramatic all the time. Come on. Make you some tea and we'll talk."

*

*   *

"So what's this horseshit where you think I'm gonna leave you?" Bucky asked as he set a chipped mug full of hot tea in front of Steve. Steve reluctantly slipped his hands out from under the three blankets Bucky had piled on him to take the mug and stare into it in shame.  
"'Cause- Well, Buck, it ain't exactly moral, the kinda thoughts I have about you." Bucky raised an eyebrow.  
"Oh really?" He asked, leaning across the bathtub-cum-kitchen table, his forearms taking his weight and making the plywood bend slightly. "What 'kinda' thoughts are those, Stevie?" His voice had dropped to a purr and he knew it. Steve flushed clear down his chest, not that Bucky could see past his chin for all the layers he was bundled up in. Steve cleared his throat.

"Um. L-Last time we went on a double date- with those twins, you remember? When- When you kissed the one on the corner of her mouth when we were sayin' goodbye- Buck, all I could think about was how I wanted to do that to you. I wanted to make you blush like that, in- in front of people. Wanted to hold your hand and sneak kisses like that and let my hands wander. But. But you ain't a fairy, and it's too dangerous, and I ain't deluding myself, so I'm not gonna think like that no more. Gonna be a straight shooter now, and just think about girls. I- I promise, Buck. If you want you can just- forget today even happened."

The worst part was that Bucky could tell Steve meant every word. His voice was wavering- trying so hard to get the words out, even if they would break his heart in a million little pieces.  
"I don't think that's immoral," Bucky said at last. "In fact, I don't think there's anything wrong with bein' queer. And you didn't even bother asking. So cut the crap and ask if I'll be your fella." Steve's eyes snapped up to Bucky's from where they had been fixed on his tea. He very nearly dropped the mug when he realized that Bucky was serious. He cleared his throat nervously.  
"Bucky?" He started, waiting for the other to nod before continuing, "Will- Will you be my best guy?" Bucky reached across the table and cupped Steve’s jaw.  
“Yeah, Stevie. I can do that.”


End file.
